Posted by: The Red Shoe Girl | May 11, 2010

While eating pizza at Costco yesterday…


I was discussing with my mother pet peeves… We came up with quite a list! Turns out, we have the same ones… I guess that’s why I’m her daughter… Haha anyway, here it is.

I hate:

– People don’t know how to use knives when they are eating.

– People who don’t pronounce words correctly.

– People who assume because I’m from American Fork, I must pronounce it “Faaaaaark.” They only do that in Spanish Faaaaaark, where the hicks live. No one here says that… Haha, except for the people who live in Lehi. ;)

– People who walk in the middle of the road or parking lot while giving no thought, at all, to the people in the car that’s about to run them over trying to get home/find a parking spot… Sometimes I want to run them over, but the damage for doing that would be far worse than waiting to find a parking spot.

– People who don’t stop for pedestrians in crosswalks…

– Pedestrians who take their sweet time crossing the street when there are cars stopped for them… These people are mosey-ers and are almost as bad as the jaywalkers…

– People who talk during movies at the theatre… We’d like to watch the movie and not enjoy your running commentary on the whole thing because you’re kind of weird and smell of feet and that mixed with stale popcorn is not pleasant.

– People who insist on carrying on phone conversations while in line and try to order and talk at the same time… Please be nice to all of us and tell the person on the phone that you’ll call them back… Unless you’re saving them from suicide or murder… Then you shouldn’t be ordering food… *nervous laugh*

– People who insist on not wearing deodorant or washing themselves… It’s kind of gross to have to be around them…

– Mothers who can’t control their children or simply choose not to. Children then run rampant and ransack whatever place they happen to be in. Mom is typically on the phone during these incidents. Welcome to Utah!

– People who violate the “20-items or less” line at the grocery store. All we really wanted were heath/scor bars and diet coke…

– People who ignore either the single white lines or the double white lines on the freeway. Either way, they mean don’t cross unless you’re the police… Then I guess it’s okay.

– Girls who wear flip flops to church…

– Sweats in public unless you can look *really* cute and put together. Kenna is really good at that… I’m not. Therefore, no sweats for me and 98% of the population.

– Any pants with words emblazoned on the butt… Especially when they’re just nasty words, or a nasty butt. Or both.

– Inappropriate truck accessories… You know the ones.

– Emo kids who are all, “What?? How dare you even look at my excessively pierced/tatooed/inappropriately clad body! Just because I have bright purple hair and black lips. You must be Mormon. Sheltered!” Honestly, if you dress that way anywhere along the mormon corridor, PEOPLE WILL LOOK AT YOU. Self expression is great and I’m all for it if you feel that’s what you need to do, but don’t be mad at us for glancing in your direction. You look different than we do, wasn’t that your point?

– People who can’t laugh at themselves. Yes, I’m mormon. Yes I grew up in Utah. Yes, I’m going to BYU. Yes, I would like to get married and I’m hoping it happens soon. Go to divinecomedy.net and look at the videos and mormon ads. There is not a group anywhere in the world that can laugh at themselves the way they can. They’re my heroes.

– Gauchos. 1. They should never be worn. Ever. 2. In the event that they are worn, if you’re older than 13 and weigh more than 100 lbs, you can’t wear them. 3. They just aren’t good…

– Camouflage in weird colors. I’m sorry, but I doubt you’ll ever be anywhere where that purple and pink will blend you into the environment… Darn. I know.

– People who have no idea that peace signs are broken crosses and insist on decorating themselves with them. They don’t really emit a whole lot of peace vibes when you think about it…

– Mean people in general

– People who obsess over television shows/movies and either cannot or refuse to face reality…

– Rude service people… Cashiers, Waiters/Waitresses, etc…

– Waitresses who flirt with your date when you’re standing right there…

– Dates who flirt back with the waitresses.

– Dates who don’t realize the waitress is flirting with them and think you’re ridiculous for being upset about it.

– Men who wear muscle shirts and/or tank tops…

– The cost of an education.

– The cost of life.

– People who block traffic in the grocery store by parking their carts in the middle of the aisle while getting samples. Old people are notorious for this. It makes me want to add things to their carts… Or push them away, far, far away. *evil laugh*

– People who don’t utilize the full potentials their belts have to offer them (and us) and insist on making us judge their choice in boxers. Mostly boys… btw.

– Excessive cleavage of any body part (chest, rear, toes, elbows, whatever…)

– Girl drama. :P

– People who text during movies and destroy our focus with their phone glow…

– Platform flip flops or those decorated with ribbons, fabric, etc… These only really work at girls camp… Or camp in general… Or if you’re 10-13.

– People who write stupid things on your girl’s camp/youth conference shirt. A doughnut licker wrote “Kick Me” on one of mine so I added, “and I’ll kick you back, HARD.” haha no one messed with me after that…

– Dates who don’t know how to plan and depend on you to come up with one…

– Jellyfish girls (There’s a post waiting to happen…)

– Doughnut lickers.

– People who make dumb jokes at bad times (The TSA agent does NOT want to hear the joke about the bomb in your carry on… They won’t think it’s funny. Neither will you when you’re attacked by dogs… That would be sad!)

– Testimonies where the bearer either tries to make the ward cry, gives you a play by play of the last ten years of their life and how it helped them “see the light” or those who drag their child who can’t talk up there and try to force feed them a testimony… Your kids are cute and everything, but we’ve heard that testimony from the other 300 kids in the primary (no joke… We have that many children in our ward hahaha)

– Kamikaze birds!!!! They’re out to get me y’all…

– Having stuff in my ears…

– Having stuff on my hands… Like sticky. *shudder*

– People who can’t use Their, There, They’re – To, Two, Too – You’re, Your – Whether, Weather – Lay, Lie – Etc… correctly. They’re simple rules that never change… I shouldn’t think they’re terribly hard to remember… But then, I can’t remember anything to do with math to save my life so maybe it is harder than I think it is!

There are many, many more but I won’t bore you with them at the moment… What are some of your pet peeves? I’d love to hear them!

love,

allison

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Responses

  1. This is probably one of the funnies things ever, with some clever words included (: I love the list.


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