Posted by: The Red Shoe Girl | August 24, 2010

These are the people in your neighborhood…


And by “neigborhood” I mean on campus.  (I was having a nostalgic Mr. R moment when I wrote that title.  Don’t judge.)

Ahhhh the smell of pink erasers and newly sharpened pencils.  My favorite supplies for  back-to-school.  It’s almost time to pack the laptop and try to look like I know where the FLSIOWEKNR building is on campus.  There I will invariably share a classroom with a fairly predictable host of characters.

*Please note that the gender terms used below are for literary purposes only.  Please feel free to substitute girl for guy and guy for girl. ;)

The One Hit Wonder

This guy will spend the majority of the semester completely and utterly silent.  He will never speak to anyone. Hardly moving. Bordering on comatose really.  One day he will begin to fidget.  He’ll have an intense look on his face.  Constipated even.  He will suddenly say something fabulously intelligent and insightful.  He will never speak again.

The Ad Nauseum Activist

This girl will find something to soapbox about in everything she hears, reads, sees. No matter how absurd or completely unfounded her complaint is she will unleash a lengthy and sanctimonious diatribe aimed at “educating” us – the ignorant masses.  While of course demonstrating her vast and inarguable superiority.

The Intellectual Megaphone

Intellectual is a complete misnomer here.  But don’t tell him that!  This guy is easily identified by his complete and utter inability to make it through an entire class period without loudly asking 1,386 questions exclusively designed to demonstrate how very very clever he is.  He will invariably attempt to prove the professor wrong during every class period.  Largely with statements that begin with “Well…..ACTUUUALLLLY”   It will not matter that the professor wrote every textbook and is a world-renowned expert on the subject.  Our resident IM will still waste at least 20 minutes of every class period with his inane questions and arguments.

After 3 years on college campuses…these are just some of the people I have observed in the neighborhood ;)   Who have you seen?

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